Klara

Klara, my dear friend
I read your post .. and I saw what you wrote last night in room
I would like to know how to respond in the right way ..
how I would be able to find the words that relieve a little ‘your pain
I don’t know
I can use phrases:
that bounce against the rubber walls of our life as the ball in a pinball machine
and really see death as a salvation
finally as the way to stop, for relax
but apparently it is not our right, it is not yet time to stop
We have many, many things that drive us from side to side
and don’t allow us to take a breath
And we want to shout “IS NOT ‘OK, LET ME LIVE”
But we know very well that does’nt work so, that no one would hear that cry
and that we have to bear all those weights, one after the other
one above the other
And we are alone, always alone
Maybe we have so many people who love us and believe in us ..
but sometimes it is not enough ..
because alone we must roll upon our sleeves, raise our head even if we don’t believe we have the strength, and move on ….
ironically, at times, the love that they give us increases the weight
to those who love us we have duties
an obligation that we can’t, and we don’t want, to betray.
If you knew how many times I wanted to …
I wanted they hate me, I wanted to become what I’m not and turn away all
but I simply can’t.
Because … even a small thing, help a friend to the PC, bring a smile to my mom,
hear my son on the phone .. or make a recharge to his phone …
or put an ad on Internet at neighbor looking for a job ..
these little things give meaning to my life.
And almost always they don’t understand what it costs
is hard, it is difficult and you have to swallow toads as big as a house ..
and want to get fuck all … but that’s what makes us alive.
Klara, forgive me
maybe that was not what you needed to hear
and I know I told you things you already know by yourself … poor banal obviousness
Basically what I wanted to say is … I understand … and I know.
And how I can’t tell you directly into my poor English …
take my hand, my friend … I am here

 

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